Popular Posts

Total Pageviews

Sunday, June 17, 2012

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A REAL MAN?


(A Father’s Day Message)

11 And He said, “A man had two sons. 12 The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.’ So he divided his wealth between them. 13 And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living. 14 Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him. 17 But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ 20 So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; 23 and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. 29 But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; 30 but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’”

Luke 15:11-32

I am blessed to be a father.  James is my joy and often inspiration.  Mary and I are presently praying for another hoping to get someone who has the same loving spirit as he does, but we know better.  Being a dad is a great thing which has difficult but has rewarding responsibilities.
The other day is an example of that responsibility and reward.  I was getting ready to go out and get a movie then swing by to pick up a pizza Mary had ordered.  We had just returned from a very long but enjoyable trip to Houston.  James was running around in his diaper being mister happy go lucky.  When he heard I was leaving he wanted to go.  Since he wasn’t ready Mary tried to get his attention with toys and books.  This didn’t work.  Immediately after I carefully closed the door, James started to the door, crying out my name wanting to go.  My heart broke and I quickly turned around to reenter the house.  I told Mary that I just couldn’t do it; I wanted him to come with me.  We dressed him and all of us went to get the movie and pizza.  It was a fifteen minute outing that meant the world to my little boy.

Today fatherhood is something that is ignored, made fun of, or even idolized to the point of unrealistic expectations.  What we forget or choose to discount is the importance of the father’s role in the life of children.  In the urban communities where welfare has a tendency to be dominant, some federal regulations don’t even allow for a husband/father to be living under the same roof as the women and children.[1]  NOW (the National Organization of Women) considers the father to be obsolete or even a hateful aristocrat that is abusive and should not be allowed in the home.[2]  However we are finding out something that the Atlantic Journal figured out back in 1993, Dan Quayle was right, fathers are very important to the full development of the child.[3] 
This article I am writing is a great segue into our thoughts on the upcoming series on same sex issues which I have been working on.  The real question I wish to explore has little to do with fatherhood, though it will deal with it, but more on what it means to be a man.  Today our society will tell us all kinds of things such as being a real man (husband/father) is being tough, or being able to be sensitive, or is even determined on how long you can last in bed.  As embarrassing as it can be, the world’s ideas and God’s design is very different.  Being a good father/husband/man doesn’t mean that we order our women around like a group of prostitutes, enslaved to meet out every desire.  It also doesn’t include being passive and allowing whatever to go on in our homes, under our roofs.  Nor does manhood have anything to do with our sexual lives.

In the passage above we read the story of what is commonly known as the “Prodigal Son.”  As my pastor, Bob Whitten has pointed out for years and as Dr. John MacArthur has titled one of his books, it is more about the loving father than the wayward son.  There are several things to note about the son.  First, he falls into the world’s way of thinking about manhood by believing that money (v. 12), popularity, and sex (v. 13) is the way of true manhood.  The way he speaks to his father in verse 12 gives the idea that he wants independence from the family, another misnomer that can be made dealing with manhood.  The idea of squandering his estate in verse 13 shows signs of financial immaturity and “loose living” lends itself to the idea of moral improprieties which may have occurred.  He is caught up in the racket of misidentification.
There is an older son who falls into worldly thinking on masculinity as well.  He believes that faithfulness should be rewarded and that disloyalty should be punished (v. 28).  He is also shortsighted, believing that the here and now is what matters not what is to come (vv. 29-32).  The brother is just as faulted in his thinking as the errant younger.

However, true manliness is found in the father.  First, he evidently is full of patience by allowing his son to do what he does.  There is no indication of protest in verse 12, though there may have been and just not recorded.  Second, he is a person of great inward strength, he waits daily for his son, not trying to rescue the son from his situation but allowing the son to return to him (v. 20).  Third, verse 20 also brings out that he is a person of great love (“compassion”).  He is overjoyed to see his son’s return.  It notes that the father “embraced him and kissed him.”  Fourth he is a person of forgiveness.   He allows his son to return as his son, not as a lowered helping hand on the family estate (vv. 21-32).  Last he is a person of solid sound advice (25-32).
When the true nature of this parable is unraveled, the father represents God.  The wayward younger son is the Gentile nations.  And the older faithful brother is Israel who has had the commandments of God from the beginning finding themselves jealous of the Gentiles who are grafted into the Kingdom through Christ.[4]  The idea is the gospel; God will receive all who come to Him in total repentance through Jesus Christ His son.  Not by works which they have performed.[5]

So what is real manhood?  Well, first it is found in being a born again believer is Jesus Christ.  Real men do humble themselves to make things right and the first place to start is with God.  Paul writes we are enemies against God until peace comes by believing in Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection as the atonement for our sins.[6]  Second, real manliness can only be demonstrated with patience.  People make mistakes, they falter, and they fail.  However, while we should be concerned, sometimes the best thing is to let mistakes and godless decisions be made in hopes that lessons will be learned.  This doesn’t mean we should never intervene, but like the loving father we should be willing to wait for the right moment to surface.  We should be men of strength and perseverance, always waiting with a watchful eye.  And when the time allows be a people with sound, solid, Biblical advice.  We need to know what to say and when to say it.  That leads us back to the first thing we talked about, having a personal relationship with God through Christ.
Let me know what you think.

His Servant Together With You,

Steven Swaim
President and Founder, Be Devoted Ministries

(All Scriptural Quotations are from the NASB)tes:
Luke 15:12 Lit living
Luke 15:15 Lit was joined to
Luke 15:16 I.e. of the carob tree
Luke 15:17 Lit himself
Luke 15:18 Lit before you
Luke 15:20 Lit his own
Luke 15:20 Lit fell on his neck
Luke 15:29 Or disobeyed
Luke 15:30 Lit living
Luke 15:31 Lit are always with me

Cross references:


[1] http://www.welfareinfo.org/
[2] http://www.now.org/nnt/03-97/father.html
[3] http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1993/04/dan-quayle-was-right/7015/
[4] Romans 9-11
[5] Ephesians 2:8-9
[6] Romans 5

No comments: